miercuri, 3 martie 2010

Sex with a Na`vi woman.

For those of you living in a cave for the past 4 months, Na'vi are a fictional species that live on the fictional world of Pandora. Na'vi women are from 2.7 to 3.5 meters tall.

In other words: smoking hot!

Due to the lower gravity of the planet, the Na'vi have harder skin then humans, and as a result their skin does not receive pleasure in the normal way. You have to go to extreme measures.

Some things are essential, like music. Na`vi women or smurf as they are called in the early 80`s, do not like normal music like Justin, Berry White or even this guy. The sound of screaming babies or dieing birds turn them on quicker than "I don't wanna miss a thing".

When thing get hard and heavy , don't be a sissy and HIT HER IN THE FACE! Na'vi dont feel pain easily. The steps to a successful intercourse are:

Step 1:Hit and thrust.
Step 2:Repeat step 1.

Step 2 is essential.

If she yells out " PAPA SMURF!", don't worry they do that . A lot! That just means they need more hitting and less thrusting.

As the Na'vi are so in touch with their home planet, they do not like the feel of artificial lubricants. You have to use your own body fluids to make the transition more easy.

And when you're riding that woman. Hold on to your fucking hat.

Also, watch for the tail. Cause if you touch it, she turns into SMURFETTE !!!


And you dont want that! Right? Right? Come on guys, fat girls need some lovin' too.

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