miercuri, 24 martie 2010

The Night Before Bros Day­

The Night Before Bros Day

By Creasta

~Part 1~

Twas the night before Bros Day, when all through the club

Where the music was playing, dub-dubdub-dub;

The girls were lined up by the bar with care,

In hopes that yours truly, soon would be there;

The couples were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sex danced in their heads;

And girls in their dresses, and I in my suit,

Just waiting for drinks filled with fruit,

When out of the blue there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the chair to see what was the matter.

Away to the bar I flew like a lord,

Turn on my camera and got ready to record.

When, what to my wondering eyes should behold,

But a minor celebrity , drinking tequila alone ,

More rapid than eagles all my friends came,

Wingmen, and bros, as I called them by name;

"Now, Rabbit! now, Steve! now, Cotor and Vixen!

On, Red! on Ostrich! on, Moses and Blitzen!

To the top of the bed! to the top of the wall!

Lets gets her drunk! And record all!"

To be continued...

marți, 16 martie 2010

Bro Code Article 13.

In the event that two Bros lock on to the same target, the bro who calls dibs first has dibs. If both call dibs at the same time, the Bro who counts fastest aloud to ten has dibs. If they both arrive at the number ten at the same time, the Bro who bought drinks last has dibs.

If they haven't purchased drinks yet, the taller of the two has dibs.

If they are of the same height, the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs.

Should the dry spell be of equal length, a game of discreet *Broshombo shall determine dibs, provided that the chick is still there.

*Rock, paper, scissors for Bros.

Quotes from the Bro Code by Barnibus Stinson

Book of Barnabas 1:1

And everything of need was provided in the garden. Fruit, water, companionship. But one day, Adam came upon a naked chick,Eve, and desired her olive leaf.And so, Adam wenteth behind an apple tree to know Eve, totally ditching his bro, Phil, who had Knicks tickets. Courtside.
Long story short, humankind became self-aware,paradise was lost, and well, we all know what happened to the Knicks.

Here is the imdb.com Top Hot Chicks of the week. Worldwide:

  1. Half Asian Chicks.
  2. Labanese Girls.
  3. Politician's daughters.
  4. Mute Women.
  5. Eighties Music Video Chicks.
  6. Really Tall Chicks.
  7. Mermaids.
  8. Chicks Raised in a Cult.
  9. Army Chicks.
  10. Girls on Rollerblades.

marți, 9 martie 2010

Happy Bros Day!

For all bros and bros-wannabe I,your god, wish you a Happy Bro Day!

miercuri, 3 martie 2010

Sex with a Na`vi woman.

For those of you living in a cave for the past 4 months, Na'vi are a fictional species that live on the fictional world of Pandora. Na'vi women are from 2.7 to 3.5 meters tall.

In other words: smoking hot!

Due to the lower gravity of the planet, the Na'vi have harder skin then humans, and as a result their skin does not receive pleasure in the normal way. You have to go to extreme measures.

Some things are essential, like music. Na`vi women or smurf as they are called in the early 80`s, do not like normal music like Justin, Berry White or even this guy. The sound of screaming babies or dieing birds turn them on quicker than "I don't wanna miss a thing".

When thing get hard and heavy , don't be a sissy and HIT HER IN THE FACE! Na'vi dont feel pain easily. The steps to a successful intercourse are:

Step 1:Hit and thrust.
Step 2:Repeat step 1.

Step 2 is essential.

If she yells out " PAPA SMURF!", don't worry they do that . A lot! That just means they need more hitting and less thrusting.

As the Na'vi are so in touch with their home planet, they do not like the feel of artificial lubricants. You have to use your own body fluids to make the transition more easy.

And when you're riding that woman. Hold on to your fucking hat.

Also, watch for the tail. Cause if you touch it, she turns into SMURFETTE !!!

And you dont want that! Right? Right? Come on guys, fat girls need some lovin' too.

Comic 2

Comic design by Boldeanu Andrei at cumamajunssa
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