marți, 23 februarie 2010

How to Hit a Woman

A lot of people will say that "You cant hit a woman dude, that`s not cool".

These people are stupid.

Women have been hit all through history, from the very begging when God created the Big Bang and monkeys evolved into Adam and Eve.

The first thing you must do is NEVER HIT A WOMAN ....... with your fist. Hitting her with a fist is domestic abuse.

An open palm can do the exact damage. You dont want the woman to feel pain. You want her to be humiliated, to cry and cry and understand that she is inferior. A woman must understand that she doesn't have the same rights as us men.

After hitting her with an open palm you must follow the Weierstrass Rules:
  • Rule number 1: Hit her again!
  • Rule number 2: Make her believe it was her fault you hit her.Which is not hard, since most of the time any woman deserves being hit.
  • Rule number 3: Never apologize and don't look regretful.
And then :

They say behind every great man there's a great woman.......HOLDING HIS BEER !

duminică, 21 februarie 2010


Comic design by Boldeanu Andrei at Cumamajunssa

sâmbătă, 20 februarie 2010

The Love of Your Life

It happens to all of us, and we know it. From the moment we reach a certain age, we start to notice it. It's instantaneous. Sometimes we make our decision based on the decisions of our parents. Others have taken the advice of the entourage.

And it hurts. God, it hurts so much. Every weekend, you sit with your sweat hanging on your forehead, with shaking palms you swear again and again, hoping and praying to God that it will work out, that things will go the way you want them to go. You pray and you swear your life to God, and maybe just maybe that fucking referee wont whistle the end of the game.

Yes, dear friends. We all were one time or another in that position. When our home team, our love, the team we support with all our heart is down one goal, and we need just a couple more minutes to score. We can do it. We are sure of it. Only if we had a little more time....

And it hurts.God, it hurts so much. But its okay. In the end the love of our lives will not leave us. She will never leave us. She is there to stay. And plays for us every weekend sometimes even in the middle of the week. But those are special times, like an anniversary, that we wait all summer for.

She will never leave. Unless of course your love is Universitatea Craiova, then she already left and is fucking someone else in Turnu Severin.

Bring it back, bring it back don`t take it away from meeee.

Football equals love.

vineri, 19 februarie 2010

Drug Dealers and Girls.

There are three rules every drug dealer Al Capone wannabe must follow. These rules must also be respected when you are in a relationship.

-Never get high on your own supply.

Which means NEVER, and I mean NEVER fall in love.

-Always fly straight.

Which means Never cheat. Because she will find out. It does not matter if she is not smart. You always must assume that the Universe is out to get you. And even if you cheat, you have to memorize a bro`s phone number. It will come in handy. More on this later...

And if you haven't figure it out already, I just saw Scarface last night and it was Awe- wait for it - SOME !

sâmbătă, 13 februarie 2010

Bro Code Article 12.

Article 12: A bro must always get another bro drunk after a break-up.
Exception 1 of Article 12: If the girlfriend was ugly/fat/disabled no drinking is necessary.
Exception 2 of Article 12: If the girlfriend was a model/porn star/reporter/ of another race, a bro must not waste time to “tap that ass”.
Exception 3 of Article 12: If the bro prefers prostitutes over drinking, a bro is not obligated to pay.
Exception of Exception 3 : If the bro does not have money for prostitutes, a bro is obligated to pay for the cheapest one

Bro Code Article 11.

Article 11: A bro must never tell embarrassing stories about another bro in front of a girl.
Exception of Article 11: If the stories can lead to pity or/and sympathy sex, a bro can tell the stories.

Bro Code Article 10.

Article 10: A bro cannot be bros with another bro if a third and forth bro do not approve.
Exception of Article 10: The third and forth bro must approve if the second bro has a hot sister.
Clarification of Article 10: The hot sister must be single when the bro-relationship is formed.

Bro Code Article 9.

Article 9: A bro must never be bros with a girl.
Exception 1 of Article 9 : A bro can be bros with a girl, only if she is a lesbian.
Exception 2 of Article 9: A bro can be fake bros with a girl if she is hot, but the bro is obligated to announce his bros of the fake bro-relationship.

Bro Code Article 8.

Article 8: A bro must always offer a location for another bro to take a girl.
Clarification of Article 8 : If a bro does not have a place to take a girl , a bro must always offer his place.
Exception of Article 8 : A bro must not give up his place if he too has a girl.
Exception of Exception : If the other bros girl is a model/porn star/reporter/ of another race , a bro must give up his place for the night.

Bro Code Article 7.

Article 7: A bro must always be another bros alibi.
Clarification of Article 7: If a bros girlfriend is enquiring about the location of said bro one night, a bro must always lie.
Exception 1 of Article 7: If the bros girlfriend is a bitch, the alibi is not necessary and the truth is encouraged.
Exception 2 of Article 7: If the bros girlfriend is fat/ugly/disabled the alibi is not necessary and the truth is encouraged.
Exception 3 of Article 7: If the bros girlfriend is a model/porn star/reporter/ of another race, a bro must tell the truth, wait for the Exception of Article 4. and “tap that ass”.

Bro Code Article 6.

Article 6: A bro must never allow another bro to call the ex-girlfriend.
Exception of Article 6: A bro must encourage another bro to make the call, if the call consists of notifying the ex-girlfriend that he slept with her best-friend or mother.

Bro Code Article 5.

Article 5: Two bros must never make eye contact in a devils threesome.
Clarification of Article 5: A devils threesome consists of 2 bros and one girl.
Exception of Article 5: The bros can make eye contact if the lights are off.

Bro Code Article 4.

Article 4: A bro must never sleep with another bros ex-girlfriend.
Exception of Article 4: A bro is allowed to defy Article 4 if a certain time has past.
Clarification of Exception: The time must be longer than the time the bro and his ex-girlfriend spent together.

Bro Code Article 3

Article 3: A bro must always notify another bro about a fight between two girls.
Article 3.1: If the fight occurs at a location the other bro cannot arrive in time, a bro must always record the fight.
Article 3.2: If the bro does not have any video equipment, he must remember every detail to tell another bro later*.
Clarification of later*: The time in which a bro must tell another bro about a girl fight must be in a drinking interval.
Clarification of Clarification: The drinking interval is one week.

Bro Code Article 2.

Article 2: A bro must always notify another bro of the presence of n* drunk girls.
N*- is the number of drunken girls.
Clarification of N*:This number must always be greater then the number of bros.
Exception of Article 2 : If the N* drunken girls are ugly/fat/disabled notice is not necessary and frowned upon.

Bro Code Article 1.

Article 1: Bros before hoes.
Clarification of Article 1: A bro must never give up drinking with another bro for a girl.
Exception of Article 1 : If the girl is a model/porn star/reporter/of another race the other bro must understand and encourage said bro to “tap that ass”
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